


Don't Mind the Thunder

by Darkhymns



Category: Tales of Crestoria
Genre: Character Study, Desperation, Dubious Consent, Guilt, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Sexual Content, that's a tag I seem to keep using ain't it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-25
Updated: 2020-08-25
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:55:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26100766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darkhymns/pseuds/Darkhymns
Summary: Everyone's carrying their own guilt on their backs, but Vicious might be helping out more than he really needs to.He doesn't mind.
Relationships: Aegis Alver/Vicious
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Don't Mind the Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> Quick writing exercise - references to [this fic](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25837090) but it's not necessary to read. Anyway, yeah thought I was done with them but guess not yet.

_Hell of a firebrand,_ Vicious thought as Misella plunged the dagger deeper into him.

Vicious knew he must have been slacking. But after a hefty helping of food and booze all rolled into one, he was completely lights out. He hadn’t heard her sneak in through the window, hadn’t heard her step around him, or even her breath that must have quickened when she got closer.

Or maybe it didn’t. The way that she had killed him had been so practiced, dedicated. She must have done this before.

The brief flare of pain in his chest was sharp. Vicious was barely able to make a grunt. She had aimed right for his heart. No hesitation, no pause. He couldn’t catch a hint of regret in her eyes before she turned away.

“Misella! What…what did you do?” Kanata’s voice was panicked, compared to her monotone. Fragile and weak, compared to her steel. It wasn’t unusual for Vicious to meet killers, but few of them start out this young and this _strong_. He wondered if a stupid boy like Kanata would ever be able to match up with her.

But he wasn’t a stranger to murder either, spilling blood of family, as rotten to the core as they were. Children on the path to hell, but they’ll at least have each other, won’t they?

Vicious knew he’d need to join them later. Right now, Misella had left his heart no room to even beat a second time, rupturing the organ like paper. Perhaps she would have rather burned him to death, but to know she could perform other options when needed… She was resourceful, he’ll give her that.

This was going to be a pain to heal off, Vicious knew that. It was his last coherent thought before his body went into that state of death, the blood staining his clothes and onto the wooden floors. Another thing he had to clean up too.

Would he come back in an hour? Or two? Either way, Misella wasn’t making it easy for him. Still, he couldn’t help but smile either way. _Good kids. They’ll keep each other up, no matter what life throws at them._

* * *

Oh, but Aegis, well…

Had this boy ever even killed someone before?

When the queen laid dead at everyone’s feet, Vicious was sure the knight was about to faint. He grew pale at the sight of red coating the stone floors, was shaking as the pool of it reached the tip of his shoes.

“No…This can’t…”

A strange feeling, to have both pity and disgust for someone at the same time. Not for Kanata who he just felt amused by, not for Misella who he admitted to having a begrudging respect. Once she knew she did not need Kanata to keep living, she would be unstoppable.

But this knight was already shattering right before his eyes.

A quick grip of the boy’s shoulder. What a worthless idiot. “You wanna throw away your life next?” he muttered, feeling no humor for anything at the moment.

He’s only living life when he’s fighting against the morons that let themselves be led around by the Vision Orbs, when he’s making fools of them all, not for innocents caught in the crossfire, both the living and the dead.

Sometimes it’s hard to convince someone that’s been stabbed in the heart like that, as Aegis watched the Stain sprout to life over his chest. It would keep burning until he learned to take that pain.

Seeing Aegis’ eyes then, he already had his answer. Some people just didn’t know how hard they had to keep living. To hell that he was going to let this dumbass make the same mistake.

“Stop it! Let me go!” So whiny, so stupid. Vicious grit his teeth.

“Shut up if you know what’s good for you,” he said, and pulled the knight along, away from the other, faceless knights that chased them all down.

He could never ignore a cry for help before, so why stop now?

* * *

One time, at an impromptu dinner, Misella had slapped Aegis hand away quite, well, viciously.

“That one’s mine,” she said in an even tone, taking the meat that had been simmering on their campfire.

“You’ve had more than enough! And I’ve barely eaten?” Aegis was huffy, but still looked like a lost idiot, an idiot decked out in a fancy vest that was half-stained with mud and grass stains.

“You can have your grass first if you’re still hungry.” Misella spoke through a full mouth, already devouring the hunk of meat until strips of it hung off the bone. Vicious could practically see the hearts in her eyes as she began to feel satisfied, and also in Kanata’s who watched her in fascination, though for very different reasons. Though this wouldn’t be the first time he’d seen guy wishing he was just a piece of meat for someone.

“Once again, I don’t eat grass!! That was you!”

“I think if Misella ate some before, then it’s okay if you did, Aegis! It might even help you look less pale!” How Kanata could act both so kind and so patronizing at the same time, it really was a talent only he could pull off.

Vicious just laughed, seated against a rock, arms behind his head. “Bad example you’re leading, knight boy. Gotta eat those veggies. Or do you need someone to feed ya?”

He’d be lying to himself if he didn’t admit that Aegis looked better with a blush. Really brought out his hair more, which the curls stayed as soft as they did, despite all four of them hoofing it through the wilderness. They barely had enough gald to afford a cheap room at an inn, but even in his dirty clothes, Aegis could still turn a head, couldn’t he? No wonder the Queen had wanted him, too.

“You’re all so…barbaric,” Aegis could only utter, before looking away and staying in his position by the fire. The light fell across his face, fell across eyes that sometimes looked so close to weeping.

Vicious hid a smile in his own dark corner, all while Kanata praised Misella for eating so quick.

Ah, it’s been a while since he felt this way.

* * *

When the guilt lodges itself in you, you can’t stay in one place for very long. Not unless you wanted to die. And Vicious has always kept living, even when he messed up. At least Misella’s knife hadn’t left a scar.

For everyone else, they didn’t get that second chance. Sometimes they won’t even reach for it like they should. Nothing else was more frustrating to Vicious.

They book at an inn, finally. But they barely have enough gald as it is, plucked from a monster’s jaws that had probably assaulted other travelers before them. Aegis barely protests, and sometimes he barely looks. Knight boy might even be a little broken.

Vicious could still taste the rain from a week back.

At some point, Kanata and Misella are gone. First romance is all well and good, and honestly, he was fine being hands-off with these kids’ learning curve. As long as neither of them try to go to him for advice, not for this kind of thing, at least.

He had his own problems anyway.

“Yo! Stole a bottle of sake from the owner.” Vicious pushed through the door, in the one room they’re all forced to share. Only Aegis should be in, saying he needed to gather what they would do on their next leg of the journey. “Don’t worry… Guy’s also a thief. He’s been overcharging all the recent customers. Nothing like payback, right?” He grinned, knowing just how insufferable it could look on his face. Plenty of people had told him that, and it was one of his features he was most proud of.

That grin stayed as he caught a glimpse of Aegis on the bed. Quick, fleeting, before the other vanished underneath a set of blankets.

“I-! W-Why don’t you knock?!”

Oh. Well now.

Vicious slammed the door with the back of his foot, already snickering through his teeth. “Damn, man! Couldn’t hold it back for another hour?”

“Shut up!” Aegis only poked his head out from the sheet – and that was the only head that would, it seemed. Not unless Vicious was persuasive enough. “I thought you’d be drinking yourself to death down there!”

“Tsk, tsk. Knighty boy, do you even know me?” Bottle in hand, Vicious once again used his long legs to grab at a chair, pushing it next to the bed. He sat in it lazily, side-eying Aegis. “Don’t let me stop you though.”

“This… this isn’t like that!” Aegis was as red as ever, redder than before. He turned away, even though the way the sheets fell over him, it was obvious just how he was still locked in that same and incredibly tell-tale position. “Not at all.”

“Oh, then tell me what exactly this is?” Vicious leaned in, making sure to take a sip just before. “I get it, man. Sometimes you just gotta let loose.”

Aegis wouldn’t answer. He probably wished he could disappear. _Probably for the same reasons as before._

Vicious gave a low chuckle, turning away. “I mean, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before, right?”

Huddled within the bed, turning away, completely and utterly ashamed. “I wasn’t myself,” he said, his voice half-choked. “I’m still not.”

The guy could sound so down, to the point that it dragged everything else with him. Not even Vicious was immune.

Aegis had worn himself out so quickly before, like he had never known a thing, and even after, he still didn’t. But Vicious had done nothing but let Aegis did what he needed to move on.

Maybe that wasn’t enough though.

With his free hand, Vicious reached over, taking the, well, only free hand Aegis had. The other flinched, nearly tried to pull away, before Vicious spoke.

“Hey, trying to help out here,” he said. “Did you already forget what I said before?” He took another drink, letting out a small burp that he _knew_ Aegis would hate, but that wasn’t the issue here. “I’m not complaining if you need something to use.”

Widened eyes, that same flush on his cheeks. Misella probably had every right to be a little jealous of him. Yet unlike Misella, he wasn’t sure of himself. Even when put through the fire, he was barely ready for any of what had happened.

He didn’t have anyone to fixate on to help him through either. At least, not someone alive. _Or thinks he doesn’t._

“I don’t need that…” he said, even as his hand held fast to Vicious’. “I don’t. It’s my sin to bear, you said I had to own it, and I’m trying to, I…”

Vicious waited, until Aegis had run out of breath. Still stuck, still knee-deep in a grave where a queen was buried in and Aegis was continually being pulled under. Held down by wishes he was too dense, or too stupid, or too wrapped up in his bullshit knight code to even understand? It was no wonder he was like this.

And everyone needed a way to vent.

“If you’re feeling guilty using her face, the dead can’t judge you.” He shrugged. “Or is it mine? Wanna tell me?”

Aegis glanced at him like a frightened deer, then turned away. The guilt was so plain, worn on his face like a part of him. He swallowed, but Vicious recognized the way his back tightened, the way the muscles his shoulders bunched.

It’s an addictive combination, but Vicious wouldn’t judge the guy.

“Go on,” Vicious said, voice just a bit softer, only a little. “That’s why you couldn’t be done before I came back, isn’t it? Not used to doing this alone.” A pause. “Or at all.”

Shaking. “ _I’m not…”_

“Let’s be done with the remorse here for a second.” Vicious plopped the bottle down on a dresser before moving onto the bed, laying back roughly enough for the mattress to creak. “Ready to go? Won’t move a muscle.”

Aegis was just a lost little soldier with nowhere to go. He could lay out plans and finances and whatever, but there’s always so many times his eyes would go distant, remembering, always remembering back to her.

Different from Misella who could show some regret for a burned orphan, but her precious someone to protect was still alive, probably worth a multitude of burned orphans if she had to choose. But she owned it, even Kanata did in his own way.

Aegis just had failure and blood for his own sin.

“I just want this feeling over with,” Aegis said in a shaking voice. Shaking from emotion, from the way he was moving now. Vicious made sure to lift the sheets just a bit, because he was going to have something fun to look at throughout this at the very least. “I don’t want to feel this…”

Vicious said nothing then. Sometimes it’s better to shut up. Sometimes it’s better to just lean in and hold close, his fingers entwined with Aegis’ own, feeling the heat even through his gloves.

But it had been a while since he even felt this way.

Aegis was struggling, that much was clear, even as his hand keeps moving and stroking like his life depended on it. So Vicious pulled him close with their locked hands, turning Aegis around so he could face him and stop hiding. “No, no, stop this-” but despite the way Aegis pushes at him, it’s only so slight, and his hand keeps moving. His eyes are locked onto that symbol of guilt carved into his stomach. Sometimes, that guilt can feel fresh to Vicious, and maybe Aegis suspects it, sometimes.

There’s more that his guilty knight needs, so he keeps pulling, pulling until Aegis is straddling him on top.

And Aegis wants to protest, he wants to yell, but all he does is keep his hand moving, sitting over the red brand on Vicious.

“Come on,” Vicious finally says, voice low, hands so tight, it was almost painful. “Said you could use my face.”

“What…do you even mean by that?!” Aegis spoke, but it was cracked and broken, still broken. He barely ever let himself recover, so why would he even be healed?

Vicious winked, eyes glancing from Aegis’ face to below. “Hey, it’s whatever you want it to mean. I’ll go with anything.”

“You’re…you can’t…” Aegis said, still straddling and moving and his hand doesn’t have a way to stop.

Sometimes you gotta reach the end before anything else.

Vicious wondered briefly, as Aegis started to shake, turning red at the mess he made on his hand, over Vicious’ chest and jacket (he’s always having to clean this thing), if the knight ever had someone to hold or touch like this. Had this boy ever even kissed someone? Even back then, Vicious’ lips had been bruised, as if Aegis was searching, searching, trying to find the right way to do this.

But there is no right way, there’s only trying and trying – and then knowing.

And he was fine with that when Aegis leaned down and kissed him, hard and yearning, even as he tried to shift his hips away, too self-conscious. Something about it now pierced his heart more than Misella’s knife had, and would leave him drained for a long time. He opened his mouth, bringing the other down to him with their clasped hands.

Aegis still hadn’t let go.

 _It really has been a while for me, hasn’t it?_ Vicious thought, smiling through the kiss.


End file.
